We Don't Bleed When We Don't Fight
by ariel2me
Summary: Stannis attends a feast, thinks about love and marriage, and discovers a secret.


_Another feast? Is there no end to all the feasting and toasting in King's Landing?_ He was late, but the noises and cheers coming from the hall did not encourage him to walk faster. Skipping the feast was not a choice, Robert was prone to making sudden decisions and declarations during these feasts, so all the Small Council members made it a point never to miss any of them, in case damage control was required.

The hall was so noisy no one noticed when he slipped through the door. Cersei and her children were sitting at the main table, but Robert was missing from his seat. Stannis followed Cersei's gaze across the room and spotted Robert dancing with one of the servants, grabbing her one free arm as she struggled to keep the other hand holding a plate of meat steady. _Well, just another normal feast for Robert then_, he thought.

Jon Arryn spotted him and pointed to an empty seat next to his wife. Stannis hesitated. Lysa Arryn ... well, Lysa Arryn made him uncomfortable. He knew that people whispered and sniggered behind his back about how every woman made him uncomfortable, including his own wife, and perhaps there was some truth to that. And yet, he told himself, Lady Arryn belonged in a class of her own.

Perhaps sensing his hesitation, or perhaps because he had something to say to Stannis, Jon Arryn whispered something to his wife, and they changed seats. Lysa Arryn did not seem offended, or even curious about the request, just supremely bored.

As he made his way to the table, Stannis wondered, not for the first time, the reason behind the match. Hoster Tully had been very insistent, he only agreed to raise his banners against the Mad King after Jon Arryn agreed to marry Lysa, even though his other daughter was already betrothed to a Stark, who already raised their banners. _Surely Lord Tully could have made a match with a younger man for his daughter, and not with one as old as himself?_ But perhaps, he thought cynically, Hoster Tully saw the possibility. With Jon Arryn's nephew and heir dead, the match meant Lord Tully would one day have one grandson as Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, and another grandson as Lord of the Eyrie and Warden of the East. _I know how this game is played after all_.

But perhaps there was something else as well. He saw the looks exchanged between Lady Arryn and Lord Baelish at times, and wondered. Had there been something there, once? He could not tell for sure, inexperienced as he was in the ways of the heart. That would not have been a match that would please Hoster Tully, he was sure of that though. _I may not know the ways of the heart, but I know the ways of ambitious lords._

_What is it like, to love one, and then marry another?_ As always, it annoyed him beyond measure whenever his mind turned to this question. _Why should I wonder about it? It is no concern of mine._ And more importantly, he berated himself, no one in the Seven Kingdoms marries for love. It is about family and building alliances. Or about keeping the bloodline pure if you are a Targaryen.

_Davos married for love_, a rebellious voice spoke louder in his head. _Davos still loves, and is still loved, seven sons and many years later, _the voice that sounded so much like his own continued. _I have no time to argue with myself_! He breathed a sigh of relief as he reached the table and sat down next to Jon Arryn, ignoring the insistent voice.

"Robert seems to be enjoying himself", he said pointedly.

Jon Arryn let out a sigh. "The children should not have been here, watching their father carrying on like that."

"Their father should not have been carrying on like that because he is a married man. Who made a vow."

"Maybe if Lyanna had lived ..."

Stannis stared at Jon Arryn. "Do you really believe that? That he would have been happ .. that he would have been a different man with her?"

There was a long pause before Jon Arryn spoke again. "I don't know. I would like to think so."

Stannis started eating, and they lapsed into silence. Usually he would welcome that, he could not abide chatter at the dinner table, but today the silence felt oppressive. _Davos was a man who made his own way in the world, and thus was free to choose his bride_, he restarted the argument with himself. _He did not have thousands of years of family honor and duty to consider._

A loud crashing noise distracted him, before the debate raging in his head could continue. He didn't need to look up from his plate to know what had happened. Drunk Robert, falling down. Drunk Robert, crashing into something. Or drunk Robert, crashing into something and falling down. He finished his meat and looked up to see Robert being helped back to his seat by one of the Kingsguards.

Cersei's twin brother, he recognized even from the back, by his distinctive golden hair. He saw a look passed between Cersei and Jaime Lannister, a two-second glance at most, yet it was as if his own heart had stopped beating for a moment. _This is the thing I have never known myself, but can see it in others, as clearly as I can see the sky on a sunny day._ It is no sibling love, this, he knew immediately, this is a man and a woman bound together by that mysterious force. He was struck by a rush of pure, unadulterated envy, he was surprised to find himself still breathing, still calmly sitting down.

He had to look away from the two of them, so he shifted his gaze to the left, to Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella. And that was when envy turned into a horrifying realization, as he stared and stared at their golden hair, more lion than stag. More Jaime than Robert. _Love is not merely a feeling. Love drives actions. Love hurts, destroys and annihilates._


End file.
